Review on the my WA2 first draft

By Qi Dan
After consultation with Dr. Sadorra, I found that some key features of an argumentative essay were missing in my essay.
In the introductory part, I use one third space of the whole paragraph to talk about some general background information regarding to nuclear power which does not relate to the thesis of my essay very well. After that, there is a definition about the nuclear reactor being discussed in this essay but I forgot to presents the controversial issues surrounding the reactor. This makes my essay more look like a “discussion” essay rather than an argumentative one. Another mistake I made is the ambiguous thesis statement. I write “this essay will examine three main advantages of Gas-cooled Fast Reactors…” instead of answering the essay prompt directly. Hence, readers cannot identify the argumentative issue of this essay from such thesis statement. Moreover, I follow a wrong style in the body paragraphs. For an argumentative essay, each supporting paragraphs should begins with an opposing view. However, I write a topic sentence of my own view at the beginning of each paragraph. Last but not the least, I should do some further research on my topic because most of my arguments in this draft only respond to issues surrounding generation IV reactors in general.
To summarize, the main problem of my WA2 first draft is about the structure. After discussion with Dr. Sadorra, I decided to go back and read the chapter 9 of our writing text book, Writing Academic English, and read more scientific journals on Gas-cooled Fast reactors.