A Respond to my peer review

by Alfred

In respond to the peer review comments by Yangfan, it was more or less the general mistakes I have made and I agree to your comments. This is especially true for the grammatical errors and typo that I have. That are some of the mistakes that I will make when I am writing, I should have read it first to correct those mistakes. But, due to time constraint I was not able to do so. However, I personally do not find it to be a good argumentative essay. For example my paragraph 4 (argument 3) was not a fully developed argument. After I have read the essay again I find that para 4 could have been better by having a stronger argument. Besides, I also find that my intro was a bit too long and some parts were unnecessary (after reading it again). As for the reference list, I tried to put it in the APA style, but failed due to the MS word 2007 default setting. It was not entirely my fault, so that cannot be considered as a mistake (haha).
Some points are clear but others are not so I would not say that my essay in general is clear. I know that there are room for improvements, I will continue to so. Thanks….